Fever
by xDaisyPetalx
Summary: 'And with that, Kate's day off was no longer her own.' When Beckett is called to care for a sickly Castle, who knows what will happen? Awful summary but please read and review. A fluffy fic, aimed to please. Chapter 5 has just gone up!
1. Chapter 1

**This idea came to me after the stress of Linchpin, even though it's not really related to it, and since then I haven't been able to write anything else. It's been a lot of fun to do and I really hope you enjoy it. **

**None of the characters belong to me. If they did, Caskett would've been together a really long time ago! **

**In Marlowe we trust.**

* * *

><p>Kate sighed, taking in the numbers flashing '6:00am' on the clock before rolling over. It was her day off, finally. Yesterday had been a heavy paperwork day and before that it had been non-stop cases. For once she was free, Castle was using the time to catch up on his writing and she intended to do absolutely nothing- and that meant lots of sleeping. She smiled, snuggling into her pillow and bringing her bent legs up to curl into a little ball. She was just drifting back off to sleep when her phone lit up, buzzing as it moved across her bedside table. She groaned, sitting upright and pushing some strands of hair out of her face, squinting slightly at the bright light. Castle. What the hell did he want?<p>

She contemplated leaving the phone to ring but after a few seconds irritation and frustration took over. She grabbed the phone "What, Castle?" Even through her tiredness, irritation was clear, plus, having just emerged from sleep her voice had a distinct growl "You do know it's my day off?"

"Detective Beckett?" the voice on the other side wasn't Castle's, it was female, young. It took her a few moments to register Alexis' voice. It was slightly shrill, worried. "I'm so sorry for waking you up. I didn't know who else to call"

Kate sat up straighter, immediately alert. She swung her legs over the side of her bed and got to her feet, padding into the living room "What is it Alexis? Are you alright? Is your Dad alright? Martha?"

"Yes, I'm fine and so is Grams." There was still worry in the girl's voice and Kate didn't miss the omission of Castle's name.

"Alexis" she said again "What's wrong?"

She heard a gush of air as the girl exhaled "I'm supposed to be looking at colleges today with Grams - it's the last day I could look around and I know that it's stupid I left it this late but I've been so busy with my internship." The words came tumbling out and Kate had to concentrate in order to keep up. "Dad was supposed to stay at home and work on his book but he's really sick, Detective, he's got a fever. I don't want to leave him on his own as he never looks after himself, but I can't stay and Grams is saying we should go and I didn't know what to do." The girl paused for a moment, as if summoning up her courage. "I was wondering if you could look after him for a couple of days, just while we're away?"

Silence. Kate closed her eyes momentarily. This was not good news. She was struggling to keep her feelings in check for the writer and, because of that, she distanced herself as much as possible. She was trying to keep her wall intact; if it crumbled she had no idea where she'd be. But Castle would be there in a heartbeat if it was her that was ill, and she was worried about him. She wanted to go over there; she was just slightly concerned about what would happen if she did. "Of course Alexis, I'll be right over."

The girl's relief was obvious. "Oh thank you, thank you so much!"

Kate smiled, "It's no problem. I'll just get my stuff. Will you be there when I arrive?"

"Yes, I'll just run down what he needs and what he's taken, see you soon!"

"Bye 'Lex"

And with that, Kate's day off was no longer her own.

She barely looked at what she was packing, throwing in whatever she could find. She changed as well, a pair of loose jeans and a white v-neck sweater, pulling her hair up into a messy bun - out of the house in the space of 10 minutes.

Because of the early hour, it didn't take her long to reach the loft and into a slightly awkward hug from the relieved teenager "Oh thank you so much!" Alexis repeated. "You have no idea." She took her hand and pulled her upstairs, towards Castle's room she could guess. Despite living at the loft for a couple of days, she'd never been inside Castle's room. She'd had no reason to until now. The door swung open to reveal Castle sitting up in bed. He was horribly pale and coated in a layer of sweat, his hair sticking up on end. His eyes were slightly glassy and it was clear he hadn't slept that night.

"Detective Beckett," he croaked, "What a nice surprise." Even when sick he managed to give her the trademark lopsided smile.

Kate rolled her eyes, sitting down on the edge of his bed."Castle, I'm only here because your daughter called me."

That seemed to be the wrong thing to say, Castle's eyes darkened slightly, accompanied by a frown as his gaze flicked to his daughter. "Pumpkin, you shouldn't have called her. She's got better things to do on her day off and I can look after myself." He turned back to Kate. "Go home Beckett, it's fine."

There was an awkward silence. Alexis stared at her feet whilst Beckett's gaze flicked between the two of them, exasperated. Finally she got up, putting her hand on the teen's shoulder and murmuring "It's fine 'Lex, I'll stay. Go and enjoy yourself." Before turning back to Castle "Don't be ridiculous Rick, I know as well as you do that you won't be able to manage. Now say goodbye to your daughter and let her go have fun." She placed her hand in the small of Alexis' back, giving her a gentle push toward her father who was staring at the two intently.

"I won't kiss you sweetheart in case you get my germs" Kate watched as he kissed his hand, lifting it to place on his daughter's cheek "Have fun, and call me if you need anything."

Alexis smiled, "No problem Dad." She said, before passing Kate "He's just had a dose of Tylenol so he won't be due another for a while." And, with that the girl sprinted out of the room. The two were left standing there. Alexis' call of 'Love you!' and the closing of the door signalling they were now officially on their own

"That was mean Castle, she was only trying to help." Her arms were folded as she leant against the wall, watching him carefully.

He gave a snort "Yeah, well, I don't want to be a burden."

She suppressed another eye roll "You're not a burden, Castle." He raised an eyebrow. "Fine, you are a burden, but you're not a bad burden."

"Is there such a thing as a good burden?"

"Well if there is, you're it." She was flirting, not a good start. But it seemed to move him from his slightly sour mood. He chuckled, but it led to a wince. She glanced at his nightstand. "Castle, you need to drink, what can I get you?"

"A scotch." He rasped and this time she had to roll her eyes "A soda?"

"Castle, seriously"

"I don't mind Kate, honestly." He gave her a small, genuine smile that she couldn't help but return.

"I'll be right back." She hurried quickly downstairs to the kitchen, opening the fridge. She grabbed the orange juice and surveyed the rest of the fridge's contents, weighing up what to give him later. Grabbing a glass and closing the fridge she hurried back up the stairs. "Juice, perfect for the vitamin C deficient!"

He pouted "I was hoping for something more...milkshake-esque?"

"Castle, you're sick," she put the glass forcefully down on the nightstand, pouring him a sizable amount, "so you need vitamins and healthy things, not milkshakes."

"But the orange is too acidic for my throat!" He whined, his eyes widening. "Milkshakes would be soothing." He really was a child when he got sick. She swallowed the growing irritation, mixed with amusement, down.

"Drink the juice Castle." He huffed and folded his arms, unbelievable. "And if you do, I'll make you something nice, but only if you drink the juice." It really was like talking to a five year old. With the obvious bribe he seemed to brighten, taking the glass and taking a gulp with an overly-staged wince. "Good boy." She couldn't help it.

"Can I have the nice thing now?"

She could've hit him, she gritted her teeth "I'll go fix something up now", and she stiffly turned and made her way out of the room, resisting the urge to throttle him. Once in the kitchen she began opening cupboards, finally finding a blender. Luckily the Castle family had everything she was looking for: milk; vanilla ice cream; mangos; crushed ice and vanilla essence. She sighed, she'd guessed Castle was going to be a bad patient but she'd thought her tolerance level was higher. True, it could just be the fever but God he was annoying. She peeled and chopped the mangos with slightly too much enthusiasm, throwing them into the blender with the ice cream, crushed ice and vanilla essence. She quickly turned on the blender, pouring in the milk slowly through the hole in the top. Finally it was ready, mango milkshake, a compromise. Turning the blender off, she poured it into a huge glass, delicately placing a finger into mixture to taste; wow, that was good. She carefully opened his door by bumping it with her hip. The orange juice was gone from his glass and a smile twitched at her lips.

"Kate you are an angel" his eyes were practically popping out of their sockets as he saw what she was holding "Oh you are an angel, such an angel. Thank you, thank you, thank you" he took it from her and took a gulp and then a long sigh of contentment. She gingerly sat on the edge of his bed, watching him. Once he'd put the glass down, she carefully put the back of her hand against his forehead, he was still warm but the Tylenol seemed to be working. She smiled and caught his eye. Bad idea. Her stomach clenched, his childlike attitude and the playful light in his eyes disappeared. Now it was replaced by the Rick she knew, the Rick she was trying to avoid having intimate contact with for fear of not being able to control herself. They were sitting on his bed, her hand pressed against his face, so much for being careful. There they were, she felt the familiar butterflies flutter in her stomach and, sensing the danger, she withdrew her hand.

"I... um…" She stuttered. "You're still slightly warm so I'd try and get some sleep, the more the better." She stood up, backing away from him and moving toward the door "I... Enjoy your milkshake." She felt the cool door handle at her fingertips, a blessing. Quickly pulling it open she escaped, cursing under her breath.

* * *

><p><strong>I hope you enjoyed it. Please review! The next chapter will be coming soon...<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey guys! I was astonished by the amount of story alerts/favourites I got yesterday and I just wanted to say thank you, you have no idea how happy it made me. A special thank you to all of the wonderful people who reviewed. This chapter is a bit of a filler as the next one gets to the crux of why I wanted to write this fanfiction. I've got the majority of it done, I'm just toying with how much to add in and how many chapters I want this story to have.**

**A massive thank you to my beta, Jana. Without her, this wouldn't have come to all of you so quickly, there's only so many threatening emails and texts I can take! Also, her beta commentary as she goes through makes my day.**

**I do not own any of the characters.**

**In Marlowe we trust.**

* * *

><p>Even now, her heart was still hammering. She hadn't braved Rick's room since her escape, hiding downstairs and watching crappy TV instead - trying to convince herself that she was giving him time to sleep. She flicked nervously through the channels, not taking anything in. She was just trying, unsuccessfully, to get Castle's eyes out of her mind. They'd darkened at her touch, so adult, so dangerous, so not what she wanted to get into right now. The wall stopped her, a physical barrier to stop them from being together, stopped him from being affected by her damaged goods. She picked at the skin around her fingernails, anxiety taking over. She finally reached a movie, 'Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets'. She'd never read the books, or watched the films so she'd been apart from the hype that'd surrounded them. She consciously tried to push her shoulders down, relax them and watch the movie.<p>

"KAAAAATE?" her shoulders shot up to their previous position again. She closed her eyes for a second, trying to shut him out. "BECKETT?", and then silence. As she didn't hear his voice again she re-opened her eyes, focusing on the screen. "KAAAAAAAATE!" she suppressed a growl of frustration. Pressing pause she got to her feet, her fists clenched at her sides.

"What, Castle?" she didn't want to go back into his room, she really didn't, she was much safer downstairs - less irritated too.

"I can't sleep," she rolled her eyes, "and I'm bored." She tensed, knowing what was coming. "Come and keep me company?"

"I'm watching a movie." There was silence and, for a moment, she thought she'd been let off of the hook. Then the door to his room creaked open and he appeared, pale and looking unsteady on his feet.

"What movie? Can I come and watch it with you?"

She sighed, knowing there was no way she was going to get out of this. In one last ditch attempt she tried, "You really should be trying to sleep."

"Please, Beckett?" The whine floated down the stairs and she sighed in frustration.

"Fine." She watched as he slowly made his way down the stairs, clinging to the banister due to being unsteady on his feet. Yet, on the final step, he caught his foot and stumbled slightly. He looked so unsteady, confused and disorientated she took pity on him, taking his hand. "This way, Rick." She lead him over to the couch, pushing a footstool over to rest against the couch, allowing him to lie down but giving herself much needed space.

He settled himself with a grunt, pulling his dressing gown tightly around himself "What are you watching?"

She flopped down next to him, "A Harry Potter movie? 'The Chamber of Secrets', I think."

"Oh! I love that movie!" He almost bounced up and down. "It's not as good as the book but still, it's a good movie."

She gave him a small smile "Well, I wouldn't know. I've never read the books."

"What!" He turned to face her, his expression intense. "Beckett. That is shameful."

She laughed "I don't exactly have much time, Castle."

He shook his head, "You make time for Harry Potter. I'm going to educate you."

She raised an eyebrow, leaning toward him slightly. "Oh really, Castle? And how are you going to do that?". Her lips quirked into a smile and she recognized that she was flirting again. It was a reflex, something they'd slipped into during their three year partnership.

He leant toward her, his lips so close to her ear that she could feel his breath tickling her neck. "Well, Detective Beckett," was he making his voice that breathy on purpose, making the 't' noises such a resonate 'click' in the back of his throat? She felt each hair rise on her arms, covering her in goose-bumps, "we're going to watch every single film." He pulled away from her and the breath she hadn't realised she'd been holding was released in a whoosh. It left her with an unexpected sense of disappointment.

"Okay, Rick," her voice sounded rather small as she turned back to the television, pressing play, "but let's watch this one first." They sat and watched in relative silence, occasionally Kate would ask him a question or Rick would butt in and give the history of a character. As they approached the scene when Harry and Ron were entering the chamber, Kate noticed the couch was quivering underneath her body. With her eyes still on the screen she spoke with a sarcastic, playful tone, "Castle, I know you're excited, but could you try and keep still?"

"I'm... trying... Beckett." Confused, she turned and looked at him. He'd wrapped his arms around himself, tense. His whole body was shaking and his teeth were chattering.

"Rick, why didn't you say anything?"

"Didn't... want... to... be a... burden."

"Oh Castle, for God's sake." She looked at her watch, "You're not due for another Tylenol for another hour." She sighed "Where can I get you some blankets?"

"Guest room... there's a... box." She hurried into the guest room on the lower floor, where she had stayed when her apartment had been blown up. She found the box quickly and got as many blankets as she could carry, heaving them back to the couch. She began layering them, starting by tucking them tightly around him and eventually just piling them on top of him. She rubbed the blankets vigorously in the area where is arms were. "You... know... if you really want to warm me up... they say the best way to warm... people up is... body..."

"Castle."

"Sorry."

In her haste to warm him up she hadn't realised she was leaning right over him until he gave a small cough. She stopped, her body tensing again as she turned her head to look at him. "Thanks Kate." She withdrew quickly, returning to watching the film without looking at him. He probably sensed her embarrassment. The two continued watching the film.

Yet as the film continued and the scene in Dumbledore's office began, Kate noticed the couch shifting again. "What now, Castle?" she turned again. All the blankets except one had been thrown to the floor. She'd been so engrossed she hadn't noticed. Castle was leaning back, his face slightly flushed and pouring sweat.

"I'm sorry, Kate," he paused, "I think I'm going to have to go to bed." She nodded, pressing pause and leaping to her feet. Without asking she took his arm, resting it on top of her shoulders to provide him with the balance he needed – she knew how unsteady he'd be, and she was right. "Woah." His eyes rolled back in his head as he stood and he screwed his eyes shut, forcing her to stand still for a moment. After a while his head seemed to stop spinning. "Okay," his voice was a rasp, "can we go a bit slower?" Kate nodded and the two began the slow ascent to his room.

As they reached his room, she pushed gently down on his shoulders, making him sit on his bed. "You're too hot?" He nodded, too confused and disorientated to make any jokes about her comment. "Lift up your arms." He looked at her, even more puzzled. "Just do it, Castle." He lifted his arms shakily, unsure whether he'd be able to keep them up. She mentally braced herself, and then lent down to grasp the bottom of his t-shirt. She felt him tense and inhale sharply as her cool fingers brushed against his hot, flushed skin. She slowly eased his shirt off him, trying not to notice his toned chest, glistening with sweat. His strong arms and his hands clenched at his sides, his eyes were closed. She gulped. "I need you to stand up." Her voice was slightly husky and she silently cursed herself. The room seemed uncomfortably quiet. He got to his feet unsteadily, leaning against the nightstand. She pulled away the duvet form the bed, pulling it out of its covering and discarding it in the corner of the floor – buttoning up the cover. "Okay, you can get into bed now." He lay down on his bed and she lifted the duvet cover up into the air, letting it float down onto Castle's body gently.

He gave a small sigh and closed his eyes. She stood watching him for a moment before taking his glass and going into the bathroom next to his bedroom. She filled his glass up and, taking a hand-towel, ran it under the cold tap. When she re-entered the room he'd barely moved, but his discomfort was obvious.

"Drink this." She handed him the glass of water and he gulped it down, she reminded herself to get him a large bottle to put beside his bed. He lay back on the pillows, wheezing slightly, the effect of the Tylenol was obviously beginning to fade. Then, she sat once more on the edge of the bed, taking the cold damp towel and beginning to dab at his forehead. She then moved to the side of his face, gently wiping away the sweat and then on to his neck. His eyelids fluttered open, looking straight at her.

She was frowning in concentration and concern. She was so delicate in her touch, so soft and comforting it would've soothed him to sleep if he hadn't felt so terrible. Tendrils of her hair had come loose from her bun, framing her face as her hazel eyes narrowed in concentration. She really was beautiful. "Thank you, Kate."

Her eyes met his and she gave him a soft smile. "You should rest." He nodded, trying to return her smile and say something in return, but was cut off by a coughing fit. He sat up, coughing and gasping for breath as she gently rubbed his back. "Damn it, Rick." She murmured. Then she was gone, back into the bathroom with his water glass, though this time she wasn't gone for so long. She emerged about 10 seconds later with more Tylenol and another full glass of water. "Just take it, I don't care what the pamphlet says, just take it." Rick took them from her gratefully and lay back down into his pillows. Kate sat at his side, pushing his sweaty hair out of his face, "I'll stay until you fall asleep."

He nodded, "Tell me a story," he rasped "it'll help me fall asleep."

She smiled and nodded "Well, I could tell you about my mother's last birthday party? It'll make you laugh. I turned up with my boyfriend at the time and he was absolutely covered in tattoos and piercings, you should've seen my Dad's face." And she continued to tell him the story. He smiled as she recounted the day's events and tensions and slowly, his eyelids began to become heavier. It didn't take him long before they closed and she watched as his muscles began to relax as he fell asleep. Soon his breathing became regular, if slightly wheezy. When she was sure he was asleep, she placed her palm against his cheek, savouring the moment. "Sleep well, Rick." She murmured, removing her hand and leaning down to press her lips to his cheek, her eyes also closing. The she straightened, walked to the door, turning back once to look at his peaceful form before turning off the lights and going back downstairs to finish the movie.

* * *

><p><strong>Please review! The next chapter should be up in the next few days.<strong>


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey guys! Thank you so much again for your story alerts and reviews. The first section of this chapter was the inspiration for this story, I wrote it even before the first chapter. I hope you enjoy it! Things are about to get a little angsty.**

**Thanks to my amazing beta, despite the abuse I got after writing this chapter...**

**I do not own any of the characters**

**In Marlowe we trust.**

* * *

><p>"Kate?" She must've fallen asleep on the sofa after putting Castle to bed. Her eyes fluttered open and she carefully moved her head from side to side, easing the stiffness. Then she saw him and her eyes snapped open. He was standing right in front of her. He looked crazed; his eyes wide, hair sticking bolt upright, the muscles on his arms tense and bulging. Sweat was pouring off of him. "Kate!" He called again, his head snapping from side to side, as if not seeing her. His voice was panicked, shrill. She leapt to her feet, placing her hands on his shoulders, looking into his frantic eyes.<p>

"Rick, it's me, I'm here." His skin burned under her touch, his fever was raging. His arms wrapped around her, pulling her into a tight, sweaty hug, which she somehow managed to wriggle free of. She noticed he was trembling, shivering like before, only more violently. "Rick, you need to get back to bed." She gently took his hand and led him back up the stairs to his room. His hand tightened around hers as she led him back into his room, carefully easing him down onto the bed. "You need sleep." Her tone was warm, comforting and it seemed to have the desired effect. He relaxed into the pillows and she watched as the muscles and veins standing out prominently on his arms began to seem more normal. She pulled the covering back over him, followed by a few extra blankets, determined to keep him warm. Once she was satisfied, she made to leave.

He grabbed her arm, "Don't go Kate." The frantic tone returned to his voice "Please don't go. Every time I close my eyes I see you bleeding out in my arms." Her heart clenched. "I see you dying and I tell you every time that I love you and you never hear me." Wow, okay, this was territory she really didn't want to enter. "You never hear me Kate, and then, in my dream, you die and I've lost my chance." She was astonished to see his eyes glass over with tears. She took a deep breath, guilt taking over. It was clear how tortured he was by the shooting, not to the same extent as she was, but she'd scared him. She wasn't a superhero, she was mortal, and she could get hurt. She had similar nightmares, but it would be him lying in her arms – well, he had tried to take the bullet for her. Other times it was a flashback and, along with the pain and terror, there was the hopelessness of knowing she'd never be able to tell him she felt the same way. So what the hell was she doing? She was so afraid of hurting him, hurting herself, that she was creating misery for both of them. She knew that the moment they entered into a relationship there would be no turning back, she had no doubt he was her one-and-done, but that terrified her, and she wanted to make things right first. She closed her eyes, praying that this delirium was the type that he wouldn't remember. She sat down on the edge of the bed, taking one of his hands in hers and rubbing circles on it, just as he'd done to her with Royal. "But you hear me now, don't you, Kate? Tell me you hear me." He was so desperate. "Please Kate, tell me you hear me."

She sighed, leaning forward to push the sweaty hair from his eyes, "I hear you, Rick." she said quietly, "I heard you the first time, I always knew." he nodded tightly "You're not going to lose me, I promise." He pulled her towards him, so she was now fully on the bed and leaning against him, his arm around her. She ran a hand up and down his arm soothingly "It's okay. It's alright, Rick."

"Don't go anywhere." He said gruffly and she noticed his eyes were beginning to droop.

"I promise," she repeated, "I'm staying right here babe, I've got you."

The term of endearment tasted like honey on her tongue and she felt him sigh. It didn't take him long to fall asleep again and the rise and fall of his chest soothed her. She soon fell asleep in his arms and slept a deep, dreamless sleep.

She awoke when it was just turning light and, like the coward she was, she slipped away downstairs.

She settled herself back on the couch downstairs and made a quick phone call to the precinct. She'd promised Alexis that she'd stay with him for the time the girl was away and, no matter how awkward it would make her feel, she was going to keep her promise. It was no problem anyway. No dead bodies had been found so she was able to not feel too guilty. But she was still nervous. Part of her, most of her, hoped that Castle wouldn't remember last night and that they could carry on as normal. But the rest of her, a small sliver, hoped he would remember and that they could take the next, terrifying step. The stairs creaked and her head snapped up. Castle was making his way unsteadily down the stairs, she turned to look at him, giving him a hesitant smile "Hey."

"Hey." He looked slightly confused "Um, did you put more blankets on me during the night?"

"Yeah," a little disappointment, he didn't remember, but accompanied by a huge sense of relief, "You got really cold during the night and I didn't want to put the duvet back on you. I'm sorry, did you overheat?"

He shook his head, "No, I was just... wondering." He paused. "How did you know I was cold?"

"I..." she stumbled, crap, how was she going to do this? "You had a bit of..." she trailed off.

"What?" He sat down at the kitchen island, swinging his stool toward her. "Kate what happened?"

"You had a bit of a night terror. I think it was induced by the fever."

She watched as he swung away from her, putting his head in his hands; then, the quiet mumble. "Damn it, I thought it was a dream."

He looked so broken, hunched over, that she couldn't bear it. "Hey." She said softly, coming up behind him and placing a hand on his shoulder, "It's okay, it doesn't matter."

"It does Kate! I humiliated myself!" he turned to face her and she sat down on the stool next to him, turning to face him. She took his hand in hers and the two sat there. "Aren't you going to say anything?" He said after a while.

She sighed "I don't know what to say Castle." Should she mention what he said? Apologise for not telling him earlier?

He nodded "Well..." he exhaled. "It's not like I learnt anything new."

That shocked her. "What?"

"Kate, for a homicide detective, you're not a very good liar." Her whole body was tense. "Kate?" She said nothing, trying to keep back the hot, prickling tears that were starting to form. She would not cry. "Hey." It was his turn to squeeze her hand. "Listen, I know this is hard for you and..." he gulped, "We can just move on from it."

All the air whooshed out and a couple of tears struggled free from under her eyelids, racing down her cheeks. "I don't want to move on from it." Her voice was slightly strangled, shrill, and her grip tightened on his hand. "I don't want to go on wasting time." She gave a long shuddery inhale. "But, I'm terrified that if I tell you, if I tell you that I feel the same way... that I'm just going to end up hurting you and your family. Let's face it, Rick, it's not going to be..."

"Rainbows and unicorns."

A strangled laugh bubbled out from her "Yeah, rainbows and unicorns." He smiled at her.

"Come here." He pulled her into a hug.

"Castle, if you get me sick I'm going to kill you." She mumbled, muffled as she was speaking into his chest, which rumbled as he chuckled.

She withdrew herself delicately, once more placing her hand to his forehead with a satisfied smile. "You're only a little bit warm." She got up, moving to the other side of the island. "I think that means you can stomach food. I don't know about you but I'm starving."

He smiled."Sounds good." Quite frankly, he was amazed by how fast they'd moved on from it – he was pretty sure that when he revealed his own secret, it wasn't going to go so well. "When was the last time you ate?"

"Oh I don't know," she waved a hand carelessly in his direction, moving around his kitchen as if she'd been there for years (which gave him a warm feeling). "Yesterday? Or the day before, I can't remember."

"Kate..." he was reproachful

"What? I was looking after you." She passed him a bowl and some eggs, "Crack and whisk them. Anyway, I drank coffee and you know I don't get that hungry anyway. Not so many Castle!" he voice rose in alarm as he continued cracking far too many eggs into the bowl.

"You said you haven't eaten, I'm making up for it." He went to pick up another egg before Kate snatched the bowl away from him.

"There's no way I'd be able to eat that much!" She turned away from him to cook and, after a while, he got to his feet and walked round to stand behind her. He placed his hands on her waist, putting his chin on her shoulder. "You're going to make me sick if you stand this close to me." But her tone was teasing and she didn't make any move to pull away, so he stayed standing there, loving the feel of the curve of her waist under his hands. Once the food was ready they returned to their respective seats, eating in companionable silence. It was strange, Kate had expected so much to change the moment she admitted she remembered. She'd imagined Rick storming out, telling her he wouldn't wait anymore and that they were over, for good. She's also imagined him being hurt and, when she'd admitted she'd felt the same way, there to be a heated, passionate kiss and sex... lots of sex. But it hadn't been like that at all, they'd just gone on with their normal, domestic chores as if nothing had happened. It was so bizarre that she had to convince herself it wasn't a dream. She guessed that Rick being sick and exhausted was probably part of the cause as well as the unexpected information that he'd guessed that she remembered a long time ago.

"Hey." His warm voice startled her from her thoughts "Stop overanalyzing, just go with it." She gave him a weak smile, leaning into him. "Have you got the day off?" she could feel the rumble in his chest as he talked, giving her that familiar safe feeling she'd grown to love so much. It made her throat tighten slightly so she just nodded. "Want to watch another Harry Potter movie?" she chuckled, leaning in to kiss his cheek.

"Sure." She could get used to this, the easy affection, not having to try and control herself. There was still the barrier of him being ill that stopped the stronger desire within her at bay – but this was so good. "But first," she paused, sitting up, "I need a shower, I feel disgusting."

He smiled "Well you don't look it. You know where everything is, go ahead."

She returned his smile, grabbing her bag to take out a change of clothes, her towel and her washing things. As she put everything in a pile, a look of concern crossed her face. She looked harder into the bag "Crap."

He turned to look at her "What?"

She sighed, "I forgot to pack another top, I've just got my leggings and my underwear, can I borrow one of your shirts?"

"Well detective," he purred, "I rather you didn't."

"Castle."

He chuckled "Sure, just grab one out of my drawers."

She emerged about half an hour later, her face slightly flushed from the hot shower and free of makeup. Her wet hair was loose around her shoulders and she was dressed in black leggings and one of his black t-shirts, going down to almost her knees. It was so domestic he couldn't help but smile at her. She grinned back at him, joining him on the couch, his arm around her.

They spent the rest of the morning watching Harry Potter movies, stopping quickly for lunch (a bowl of ice cream with chopped fruit on top in order to stem Kate's criticisms about lack of vitamin C), then back to watching movies. Alexis and Martha were due back at 6 o'clock that evening and at 5 Kate stretched out. "You know I mean it, don't you?" Her wide hazel eyes looked up into his, slightly confused, blues one, "Love you. I really mean it." But instead of seeming happy, he stiffened under her.

"Kate, I need you to come with me." He took her hand in his and pulled her up, leading her to his study. As they entered the room, he turned to her. "I need you to remember what you've just said okay."

She laughed, but it was slightly too forced, "Castle, what's going on?"

"Please, just remember that."

"Rick, I love you, you know that's not going to change."

He frowned, obviously not believing her and causing fear to start to build up inside her. He went toward a screen, touching it with his finger and it lit up under his touch. And there she was. Her face, surrounded by others - her mother, Roy... all of the people who were a part of her mother's murder investigation. Her body went cold as she realized what this was. It felt as if the world around her was spinning so fast she couldn't keep up. He'd lied to her, he'd betrayed her. Her eyes stung, her heart physically ached and it felt as if she couldn't breathe. She turned and ran from the room. "Wait! Kate!" Castle followed closely behind her, "Remember what you just..."

She spun around to face his, hurt and pain clouding her vision "That was when you were my partner. That was when I trusted you." She grabbed her bag, her shoes and headed for the door. "We're done Rick. I'm serious. Don't come after me." She threw the door open, revealing a smiling Alexis and Martha whose smiles quickly dropped away.

"Detective Beckett?"

Kate pushed past them, desperate to get away, to remove herself from the situation and start to rebuild the wall she had stupidly started to bring down.

Rick was left standing there, watching the devastation he'd created.

* * *

><p><strong>So there you go! The next chapter is written and just needs to be edited before it goes out. I hope you enjoyed it and don't hate me too much after the cliffhanger!<strong>

**Please review.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey guys. Sorry for the wait, I normally try and write the following chapter (in this case ch 5) before I update but this time I had little time and I'm struggling with it. So, I decided to give you ch 4, see what you guys think and go with it from there. The chapters won't be coming so regularly after this as term time has started up again which means I'll have little to no free time. Anyway, I hope you enjoy it and thank you for all of your reviews.**

**Again, thank you to my brilliant and insane beta, Jana.**

**I do not own any of the characters.**

**In Marlowe we trust.**

* * *

><p>He didn't come after her.<p>

He felt numb. It'd been going so well, but he'd known he'd had to tell her – and by doing so he destroyed them. He'd been so desperate to protect her and now he couldn't be around to see it through. At night he'd sit and stare blankly at his laptop screen, the empty word document screaming at him. He couldn't write. He couldn't function. He was perfectly healthy now but it was all he could manage to listen to Alexis about her college visits. After that he'd retire to his study, stare at his smart board with her face staring back at him, nursing a glass of scotch. Apart from his time at the Hamptons, they'd never gone more than two days without talking. Now it was five. He missed her. It was like an ache which he couldn't shake. He daren't step foot in the 12th – he was doing what she'd asked him, for once, to not follow her.

But then came the phone call.

It wasn't from her, it was from Javi. For one terrible moment he'd thought that the detective was going to tell him that Kate had been shot and killed, that he really had lost his chance. "Castle. I'm not calling you because I want to, Lanie told me I should. She's asking for you.'

She'd fainted at a crime scene. According to Esposito, she hadn't been herself that day but they'd put it down to him, for hurting her. But then she'd started to go pale, clammy and eventually, at a crime scene, her legs had given way and she'd passed out on the street. They'd taken her to hospital but she only had a mild concussion. It had been a case of stress, lack of sleep and the flu. His flu. And she'd been asking for him, in her fever induced state and, as always he did what she wished.

He went to her.

As he unlocked her apartment (he'd been meaning to give back her key, he really had) it was silent. He stood in the main room, looking around, taking in all of the things that made the place hers. There was the guitar propped up by the sofa, the window with the shutters that held all of the information on her mother's case, the photographs. He walked toward them. There was one of Kate and her mother when Kate couldn't have been more than five years old, another of her whole family at Christmas when she looked about 19. Then, her graduation from the academy – she and her father standing side by side, their smiles strained. There was one taken at Ryan's wedding, all of them standing together, smiling. Then, the last one, face down. Castle corrected it – it was of the two of them, at his house a few months ago. Alexis had been trying out her new camera and she'd been round for dinner. His heart clenched, there had been a reason the photo hadn't been standing upright. "Hey Castle." He turned around to see Lanie walking out of Kate's bedroom. "She's sleeping at the moment, so you could always come back tomorrow. I'm happy to stay with her."

He shook his head, "She did the same for me. I'm going to stay with her." She nodded, brushing his shoulder as she went.

"Go gently. She won't be happy you're here." He nodded, he'd have to take it very slowly, not barge in. "Good luck, Writer Boy." Lanie said with a small smile, and then she was gone, the door giving a quiet 'click' as she closed it.

He sighed, sitting back on the couch. Now that he was here, he wasn't sure what he should be doing. He pulled put his phone and sent a quick text to Alexis, telling her where he was so she wouldn't worry. Then he heard a moan coming from Beckett's room. He got to his feet, gently pushing her door open. There was a faint glow through her curtains as it was still light outside, her head was tilted to one side. Her skin was pale and sallow though there was a large bruise on her forehead and into her hairline where she must've hit it as she fell. Her hair was loose but sticking to her face. She groaned again and her eyes fluttered open. In her post-sleep haze a small smile flittered across her face. Then she focused, "Ow..." her hand came up to brush at the purple bruise and her eyes narrowed "Castle..." she sat up, "Castle, what the hell are you doing here."

"I..."

"No, get out Castle. I said I don't want to see you

"Look I know, Kate, but..."

"Castle, please." Her eyes were swimming, "I feel like crap, my head kills... I can't handle this right now." He sat down on the bed next to her. "Please." She whispered. He leant forward and eased some of the hair that had stuck to her face away. His hand remained on her cheek, she didn't pull away, just continued to stare at him and he felt the heat of her skin and the dampness of her tears on his palm.

"Hey," he said softly, his thumb moving in small comforting circles, "Kate." Her breath hitched in her chest and the tears began to pour thick and fast. He quickly released his hand and eased himself round to the other side of the bed beside her and pulled her into his arms. Her hands clutched at his shirt as she sobbed, almost primal gasps escaping from her lips, raw. He rubbed her back, trying to soothe her but all the time conscious that this was all on him. He mumbled soothingly in her ear and sobbing lessened before petering out completely, though her hands didn't release his shirt. She stayed there, with his arms around her, breathing deeply, trying to regain her composure. Her eyes were closed, savouring his touch. "Kate?" he said again and he felt her shake her head.

"Just, quiet, please." Her voice was hoarse, a combination of her illness and tears. He could hear how sore it was and feel her wince as she talked. She released his shirt and sat back, looking at him with red-rimmed eyes. "Do you know..." she paused, taking a deep breath "Do you know why you looking into my mother's case was such a big deal?"

He nodded, "I betrayed your trust and for that, Kate, I am truly..."

She held up her hand, stopping him. "No." She said firmly, "First, you don't get to apologize yet and second, that's not why I'm so angry." She'd used the present tense, still angry, not that he blamed her. But he was still confused, "I'm angry because..." she stopped again, dropping his gaze to look at her hands, nails bitten, little sores standing out on her fingers, so vulnerable. "Because, when you stopped me from looking into the case, I didn't do it for you. Well, I did do it for you but not for the reason you think. I didn't stop because you told me to and I wanted to make you feel better, I stopped because I wanted to protect you." She grasped his hand, raising her head once more to look at him. "Rick, you threw yourself in front of a bullet for me and it was stupid and amazing and it showed how wonderful you are and that I totally don't deserve you." He opened his mouth to say otherwise but once again she cut him off, "But what about next time? What if we keep looking into this case and they try to shoot me again? What if this time you do get hit instead of me, what if you die? Do you think I'd be able to live with myself? Without you? Do you think that Alexis and Martha would ever recover from it?" She paused, letting her words sink in and after a while he shook his head. "Exactly, so I gave it up. And it's been hard. I've been seeing a therapist to try and make myself whole, to make myself able to move on. "She saw the surprise in his eyes "I did it all to protect you, to protect everyone, just like my mother would've wanted." She sighed "So imagine how I felt when I walked into that room and saw you were looking into it? Directly putting yourself in the firing line when I'd done everything I could to avoid putting you there." She saw the understanding in his eyes, "Okay." She said finally, "Okay you can talk now."

"I'm sorry."

"You wouldn't be here if you weren't." Her voice was quieter now, rasping. It seemed to have taken a lot out of her.

"I'll stop, if that's what you want. I'll stop until you and I are both ready to do this, together." She nodded and gave a weak smile.

"To be honest Castle, unless we have a case linked to it... I don't want to go looking for trouble." He nodded, noticing how her breath rattled slightly in her chest, how she had to keep clearing her throat to continue talking.

"Stay here." He murmured, "I'll be back in a second." He moved quickly to her bathroom, his mind trying to process what she said. The weight of what she meant. Her mother's case had defined her, had been her driving force throughout her working life, and she was willing to give it up... for him.

He looked through her medicine cabinets.

But it wasn't just for him. It was for his entire family, their family, the one they'd created. He gave a small smile, taking what he needed from the cupboard and hurrying back to her room. "Roll up your shirt?"

She raised an eyebrow, "Excuse me?" he could hear the rattling from where he was standing.

"No funny business, but you're struggling to breathe Kate, I can hear it. I just went to get at your back." He went to sit back down and she watched him for a moment, wary and he sighed, "Kate, when we do this properly it'll be much more romantic, I swear. This is medicinal." She rolled her eyes, turning away from him and pulling up the back of her shirt. He carefully began rubbing the vapour oil into her skin, working his way up and paying close attention to the area where her lungs would be. His hand skimmed her side and under his fingertips he felt the softer skin of her scar and he felt her tense under him. "It's okay." He murmured softly, "Take a deep breath," he moved his hands down to rest on her waist as she did so, already her breathing sounded clearer. "Better?" she nodded, "Do you want to do your front?"

She chuckled, "Smooth, Castle. But classy." She turned and took the pot from him and rubbed it over her chest, her fingers skimming against her sensitive scar where the bullet had pierced her. She caught him watching her out of the corner of her eye, his brow furrowed as her scar was visible to him. She inhaled deeply, so much better. As she put the vapour rub on her bedside table she noticed the concerned look hadn't left his face. "I'm alright, Rick. I'm fine." He nodded.

Then he leant over and kissed her.

She felt so small in his arms. This kiss wasn't like the one they'd had before. There was no danger, no guise of an undercover mission. It was just them – slow, careful, full of meaning and love. She smiled against his lips, breaking away slightly and resting her forehead on his "I'm going to make you sick." She murmured.

"No," he whispered back, his lips twitching into a gentle smile "I gave this to you, so I'm immune." She chuckled and relaxed back, nestling under his arm and resting her head on his chest. "Want to watch crappy TV with me?" He asked and she nodded, "Temptation Lane?" Silence.

"Castle, listen before taking offence ..." She paused ,"That was something I watched with my mother when I was sick, that was 'our' thing." She stopped, thinking, "I want a 'Kate and Rick' thing to watch, just between us, when we're sick." She felt his relax and there was a small rumble in his chest as he hummed his agreement. "So can Harry Potter movies be our thing?"

"Yeah," his tone was warm, "Then you can watch Temptation Lane with our..." he trailed off, catching himself but he still felt her stiffen slightly and there was a silence. "Too soon?" he said after a while and she nodded against him.

"One day, but I don't want to think about that now, Castle. Watch Harry Potter movies with me."

* * *

><p><strong>So there we go, please make sure to review... I'd love to hear any suggestions. <strong>


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey guys, thanks for waiting for so long. I've been back a week and the work is already overpowering, slept for 13 hours without waking up on Friday night which just says it all. So here we are, the final chapter. I really hope you enjoy it as I've enjoyed writing the whole thing. I have a one-shot coming out in a few days; I'm not entirely sure what it'll be called yet but keep a look out.**

**A huge thank you to my beta Jana who has stuck with me throughout this process. She's yelled at me, insulted me and squeed with me, making me laugh on frequent occasions.**

**I do not own any of the characters.**

**In Marlowe we trust.**

* * *

><p>She was so adorable when she slept. Whilst watching the movie he'd become more and more aware of her body relaxing against his. She was already nestled up beside him, his arm around her and her head resting on his chest. But eventually her breathing became regular and he realised she'd fallen asleep. She obviously hadn't slept in bed with someone else for a while as he could feel her body adjusting to the lack of space in her sleep. Her legs rose up as if to curl into a foetal ball, but his own blocked hers from doing so – in response, they tangled with his. She was so deeply asleep, so relaxed and at ease around him he couldn't help but smile down at her. He continued to watch the movie, despite knowing all of the series so well he could quote them off by heart. He didn't want to disturb her, didn't want to ruin this moment for either of them.<p>

But, as the movie drew to a close, she gave a sharp inhale and her body arched, pushing her chest out and close against him. He raised an eyebrow, sleepy Beckett was something he hadn't encountered before. It was clear she wasn't at her best, she gave a small groan and her eyes didn't open as fast as he'd expect someone as hyper-aware as her, and they were ever so slightly puffy. "Castle?" her voice has a slight croak to it and he shushed her, feeling her forehead and being careful to avoid the vivid purple bruise that had seeped into her hairline.

"You've still got a bit of a temperature," he murmured, "Can I get you anything?"

She shook her head, and then winced, obviously suffering from a pounding headache. "Just a sip of water, please." He leant over to the bedside table and picked up the glass of water that had been sitting there. She sat up straighter, but still leant against him – enjoying their closeness. As she drank, her eyes closed again and she gave a long sigh, the water obviously offering some relief. "God, I must look like crap."

He chuckled, "I've never seen you more beautiful." Despite the laugh, his tone was earnest and she couldn't help but smile.

"Castle, I'm all bruised and sick."

"Doesn't detract from it."

"I'm in sweats and a t-shirt..."

"It doesn't make a difference."

"Wow, then I really must try harder to dress well."

He sighed, slightly frustrated but still enjoying himself, "Kate, you just woke up in my arms. You've never looked more wonderful to me

"Sap." But her heart fluttered and her gaze was warm as she took another sip of water, watching him carefully.

It just felt so normal. Maybe this was her 'sick brain' but sitting in bed with him lying beside her... it felt like she was coming home.

"What are you thinking?"

She chuckled, taking another sip of water. "Still studying me, Castle?"

He gave her that lopsided smile she loved so much. "Kinda, plus I just like knowing." She tilted her head to one side, watching him. She saw how his mouth turned up at the corners, causing those little smile lines around his eyes; she noted how his arm was still slightly raised, draped along the headboard of her bed, as if waiting for her to relocate back to him to resume their close position. "You hungry?" There he was, always taking care of her, making sure she was at the top of her game.

"Sure, what do you have in mind?"

"Well, how about we relocate to the main room and see what's in your fridge

She grinned at him, "Sure." He climbed off the bed and she made to stand up too. She wobbled slightly, the whole world spinning around her. "Castle, I don't think I can walk there..." She sat back down on the bed heavily.

Immediately he was at her side, squatting down to her level, his blue eyes filled with concern. "Put your arms around my neck."

She shook her head, not helping the spinning world around her, "I don't..."

"Just do it, Kate."

With a sigh she leant forward, wrapping her arms around his neck. Their bodies pressed together and they stood. Yet, as she reached standing position, her legs were swept out from under her as he scooped her into his arms. "Castle!" She was breathless and despite the slight annoyance, a small laugh bubbled out of her and a grin broke out across her face. He carried her into her main room and set her down gently on the couch. "That really wasn't necessary you know." She mumbled as he grabbed the blanket and draped it over her. "I would've made it there eventually." Rick ignored her and made his way over to the fridge.

"Kate."

"What?" she turned, knowing what he was going to say.

"There's nothing but leftover takeouts in here."

She shrugged, "I just don't have time to shop."

He rolled his eyes, "Well, we have two options. Either I go out and get food, groceries to cook, mind, not more takeout. Or, I call Alexis and she'll bring some over and join us."

Kate frowned, she didn't particularly want Rick going out and leaving her and she hadn't actually seen Alexis since she'd run out of Rick's apartment. But she didn't know how the girl felt towards her. She sighed, "Call Alexis, if she doesn't mind, of course."

An hour later Alexis was at the apartment holding shopping bags filled with groceries. Castle set to work chopping and cooking, filling the apartment with the wonderful smell of cooking food. Alexis settled herself on the couch next to Kate and the two sat there awkwardly for a moment. "So," Alexis started, glancing back to her father to make sure he was busy cooking, and not eavesdropping, "Are you..."

"I'm okay." Kate recognized the girl's quiet tone and mirrored it. "I've been better, but I'm okay."

"And you and Dad?"

"We're okay." Kate took the girl's hand and squeezed it gently. "I promise."

Alexis lowered her head, looking at her lap. "It's just..." she paused and Kate didn't interrupt, waiting for the girl to continue. "He only did it because he cares about you, a lot. Everything he does is because he cares about you." The girl took a deep breath and lowered her voice to almost a whisper. "And if you're not seriously in this, Detective - Kate, it'll break him." Kate nodded. She already knew she couldn't promise anything, there was no way they could know how everything would turn out yet. But, as Alexis lifted her head to look at her with wide blue eyes, so like her father's, pleading with her; she nodded. Alexis gave her a weak smile before pulling the older woman into a hug which Kate returned. She expected that she would feel awkward, but it felt so normal. She lifted a hand to gently stroke the girl's hair. The two broke apart with a mutual understanding – things would be alright, as long as she and Castle both worked at it, and kept trying.

They both turned as Rick walked toward them, two plates of steaming food in hand. "Hungry?" he said with a grin. They ate in relative silence, Kate wolfing down her food as it was the first good thing she'd eaten in an extremely long time.

She looked up to see Rick and Alexis eating a lot slower. Rick was giving her a small, slightly mocking smile. "What?" she hadn't realised her mouth was full and she swallowed quickly. He chuckled.

"I thought you must be hungry."

"Oh, shut up." She rolled her eyes and went back to eating her food. The warmth in her stomach from her food and her residual temperature was making her sleepy. She was struggling to keep her eyes open. She put her plate on the coffee table and leant back on the couch, satisfied with a yawn. She could hear Alexis and Rick's mumbled conversation going on as the warmth and comfort turned into sleep.

"Kate?" her eyelids fluttered open. He was crouched in front of her. "Kate?" she hummed a response to him, telling him she was awake and he gave her a small smile. "Alexis wants to go home and I think I should go with her. I'd like to take you home with me, to look after you. Sound good?"

"Home sounds good." She managed to croak out. Then she realised what she'd said and felt her skin burn as she turned scarlet.

Rick only chuckled, "Yeah," he held her hand and grasped it gently, "Home sounds good."

* * *

><p>It was funny really, how it had taken something as small as the flu to bring them together. They'd survived so much: being shot at, almost freezing to death, near drowning, explosions – there hadn't been much they hadn't faced. Yet a common virus was what brought them both to admit their feelings.<p>

"I can hear you thinking from here."

Kate rolled over in her sleep to face him, "Mmh?" she murmured, her mind hazed over with sleep.

"Stop thinking, I can practically hear your brain going." She smiled, resting her head on her hand, watching him.

"What? I missed you?"

He chucked "Well, I'm glad to hear it, Beckett." There was a pause, "What were you thinking about?"

Still sleepy, she pulled herself over him, one leg on either side. She sat up, the t-shirt reading 'My boyfriend went to London and all he got me was this crappy t-shirt' in clear view. She already loved it, but vowed not to wear it outside the house. The fact it was about 5 sizes too big made it perfect sleeping attire. He hadn't realised quite how small she was. "I was thinking," she brought a finger to trail down his chest, "That it took us far too long to get here, to us." He smiled, resting his hands on her waist.

"You look so good in that t-shirt, babe"

She gently slapped his chest. "Don't call me babe."

He raised an eyebrow, "I do believe that it was you who started using it first?"

She grinned, "Yeah, but that was when I thought you wouldn't remember." He pulled her to him, and she gave a light squeal, silenced as he pushed his lips against hers. She broke the kiss, but didn't move from her position except for resting her head on his shoulder, loving the feeling of his arms around her petite frame, holding her after his long absence. He brought up a hand to run his fingers through her luxuriously thick and soft hair, soothing her. "You're going to make me fall asleep." She mumbled.

"Good."

"I'll crush you."

Her body vibrated as he chuckled under her, "Sure thing, Kate. As if that were possible." He noted the way the ring glistened on her finger. Not too simple, not too extravagant. It was perfect for her and she should be able to wear it whilst at work. "It looks good on you." He pressed a small kiss to her forehead. But there was only silence as he continued to run his fingers through her hair. He felt her body go limp and from her lips came a gentle, adorable snore. He pressed a light kiss to her forehead. Content.

* * *

><p><strong>Thank you to everyone that has read this and an extra thank you to all those who have favouritedadded it to alerts/reviewed, you've made this a lot more fun.**


End file.
